My Other Half
by PastellPop
Summary: Haku and Dell were close siblings who had been separated since they were young children due to divorced parents, never hearing from each other again. Dell is now enduring a rough life while Haku copes with constant loneliness. But eleven years later, Dell is determined to see Haku again...
1. Chapter 1

Dell's P.O.V.

I've always been cold, people wonder why people like me are so stoic and if I really care about anything.

Only if they knew, I'd they knew I always got a certain way at this time of the year, when the sky turns grey, but color falls all across leaves on rowed trees.

It reminds me, my sister's birthday is soon, right?

And it's not like I can celebrate it with her, so every November 21st after I finish my school or errands, I make sure I pass by the small local bakery to get myself a cupcake, which I save for later to eat alone in the corner. I think of her. My sister loved cupcakes.

I don't try to think about her a lot, because when I do, I get sad and angry. And I don't like it when people see me act like I'm a wuss.

My sister used to be very close to me. I was two years older, but we also were twins, starting at the moment someone mistook us for them. I wouldn't blame that person, since my sister did grow pretty fast. By the time she was four and I was six, we already looked about the same age.

My sister was always a bit strange, but it made playing with her more fun. Unlike the other girls, she spent less time putting make-up on her dolls, instead she took them outside and made them go on wacky adventures while I caught frogs and bugs to show her. Then I let her name them. Whenever I caught a small cute frog, she used her favorite name on it, "Chi-chi-chan".

I would always refuse to tell her how vulgar-sounding of a name "Chi-chi-chan" was (I knew many things growing up that I never told her), because I always liked when she got excited.  
"Brother, look! It's Chi-chi-chan again!"

We celebrated holidays together, and I remember how happy Haku was when she opened the Christmas presents. One time we trick-or-treated and she was Pikachu and I was Raichu. We learned how to swim together. We bribed our parents for cookies. Even the times we fought, they now feel endearing to look back to...

Those were all little things. Just dumb little things that added up into something that was very hard to let go of.

If only someone had told me to never take the little things for granted.

Until the day my dad acted like an idiot. He came home drunk, more and more often, day after day. His temper began to rage until my sister and I had to fall asleep to mom and dad yelling and screaming all night long.  
"Brother, why are mommy and daddy fighting?" she would cry.

_"I don't know, Haku. I don't know..."_

She was only a five-year-old girl, she didn't need to have her parents behaving like this. I decided from then on to take better care of her.

Until the day where everything changed.

"Son. We're moving out of this house. But your sister is gonna stay here with Mom. I think it would be better this way."

Everything went so fast after that, I can barely remember how it went. I only remember how sad, angry and hopeless I was.  
But the thing I remember most was my sister's face when I said good-bye to her.

She was always the kind of person to start crying at the drop of a hat, but this time just felt different.  
It was much different from when she scraped her knee or misplaced her favorite toy. It was as if her world was ending. It was the first time I had seen her cry like that.

And that was the last time I ever saw her.  
My dad took me with him, and my sister stayed at the old house with my mother.

And the whole time, I was frozen. I had no expression on my face. Because I refused to believe this. Maybe if I kept my emotions inside, things would stay the same.

That was when I learned to be strong.

I gave my sister one last hug and left, thinking I'd see her again soon.

Turns out, it has been years, and the last time I saw her was still that time. Tears streaming down her face, crying "brother... don't leave me..."

It broke my heart.

I still wonder about my sister, Haku. I wonder how she's doing back at my old home with my old mother.

Is she happy?  
Does she have friends now?  
What are her hobbies? Her grades? What kind of person is she now?  
How much has she changed? What does she look like now?  
What is she doing right now?  
Does she still think about me?  
Is she thinking about me right now?

But I'm sure she probably grew up into a great girl, unlike me.  
I ended up being like my father, a loudmouth bad-boy, only I smoked instead of drinking alcohol.

In middle school I had this friend, called him Big Al. He told me to try a cigarette. I was dumb enough to listen to him.  
It's a long story, but now we aren't friends anymore. After all, he was the idiot who caused me this terrible habit. Now I'm misunderstood and looked down on. As soon as people know my dad and know I smoke, they think I'm an insensitive, roughhousing criminal.

But I'm not.  
Truthfully, I'm a grown man who is still crying because he wants his mommy. How pathetic, huh?  
I wonder if my sister still cries, I wonder if she cries the way she did during the moment I left her.  
I can't stand thinking about her like this.

I want my mom, I want my sister. Even my dad wants my mom and my sister. But now it's too late to be a family again.


	2. Chapter 2

**Other Half part 2**

Dell's P.O.V.

"Come back..."

I wake up and it's like the abstract shroud around me dispels. My eyes are half-opened.

I try to convince myself that they're wide enough open to still see the dream I saw, but not so wide that I can see the shitty reality around me.

And it doesn't work. The dream disappears.

The shroud fazes away fast and too quickly.

Seconds ago, I was seeing a white and peaceful peaceful dream. My sister's loose white hair, elegantly swishing in front of me as I playfully ran after her in the white falling snow in a place that looked like our old backyard.

"Bet you can't catch me brother! Bet'cha can't catch me! Ahaha!" her giggles were like the feathers that momentarily lifted my soul.

_You were right..._

_I couldn't catch you..._

_You slipped away before I could talk to you..._

_Before I could say sorry for not being able to be by your side..._

I was now feeling like such a wimp for having such an sappy dream, feeling so emotional about it.

A real man would've gotten over things like this by now.

And besides, she's certainly grown up by now, but I still imagine her as a defenseless little teary-eyed girl. Pink cheeks, runny nose, and arms that could give the most affectionate hug in the universe.

Because she was just like that the last time I saw her.

It's the only recollection I have of her, and it's kind of making me feel like a pedophile. Because Haku is just a little girl to me,

and I love this little girl.

It's probably just because I inherited my dad's screwed-up mindset.

I woke up, sighed a roar, and limped downstairs. Time to drink a coffee and smoke a cigarette.

I'm such a happy guy, aren't I. That was sarcasm if you didn't notice.

I see my father sprawled out on the couch, with two empty beer bottles. That dull brown jacket he had on him looked terrible. I don't know where the stains came from, but whenever you let my dad wear an article of clothing, they were guaranteed to be covered in these mystery stains hours later.

In a few hours I had community college to attend.

I wonder the stupidest things in the lecture room, while sourly sipping my coffee while typing on my Dell laptop.

While I type on my Dell laptop, I wonder if Haku is typing on her Haku laptop.

Oh, that's right. There's no laptop brand called "Haku" anyway.

I just can't stop thinking of her as being my other half.

When I got out of school, my bag was stuffed with worksheets and the sky was pouring down rain.

It was November 20th but I felt like going to the bakery anyway. I could get myself a small cake today, and a better one tomorrow on my sister's actual birthday.

"I would like to get one chocolate cupcake please. A regular one. Nothing else on it."

I hoped I didn't appear too sour to the cashier. Plus, I couldn't smoke after school because of the rain, and it left me in an even worse mood.

After the baker lady said sure, I was able to glance to the back of the room.

Somebody was getting a big, fancy birthday cake made just for them. The icing ridges were purple, like the color of my sister's favorite ribbon.

No. I was now furious. Why do I always have to think of my god damn sister all the time.

She's grown up. She has a life. She probably doesn't even think of you anymore, Dell.

She's let go of things.

_You have to let go too..._

I was too deep in my thoughts, so at first I didn't register what the cake said.

But once I did, I felt like I was going to puke up the emotions inside me.

On the cake, it said "Happy Birthday Haku Yowane!" in thin letters.

Just seeing the name... I couldn't believe it. My heart began to stop.

_Haku Yowane_

I was so shocked that I lost sense of control.

"Excuse me, baker! Baker! This Haku Yowane girl... do you know her!? **I NEED TO KNOW!"**

**Endnote:**

**Next chapter will be Haku's point of view.**


	3. Chapter 3

Haku's P.O.V.

The holidays seem to arrive earlier and earlier every year.

I saw Christmas decorations in the stores back when it was barely August, and by the time Halloween was out of the way, the hype was so abundant you would think that Christmas would literally be the day after tomorrow.

This season had always been a very emotional time to me.

It often brought me bliss, as the united and harmonious atmosphere urged me to think in a carefree way, but at the same time, feelings of anxiety, loneliness and hopelessness plagued my mind as well.

I remembered the bare Christmas tree in our house at that time. The old one, where the plastic pine needles fell off everywhere and even ended up on our clothes or in the food sometimes.

Since mother and father refused to decorate the Christmas tree together, my brother and I didn't want to either, until they could get along again.

And they didn't ever.

So the tree was left, sad and bare, even after my father and brother left.

And it was the same tree I was under during that moment... that moment that still repeats in my head. And no matter how I feel, when view all it clearly enough, it always manages to still make me cry.

It was... an entire decade ago. I was only a little girl.

Only a few feet in front of the tree, I was crying so hard that I almost choked.

I couldn't understand anything that was going on, only that my father and brother were "going away". Going away? For how long? Where?

And would I ever see them again?

And from the looks of it, our house stripped down of all dad's stuff, it looked like they were moving away from us. I was scared if it was my fault why dad was always yelling. I felt like everything back then was because of me.

Why else would everyone want to get away from me, as if they didn't need me in their lives?

It was just too terrifying to believe, until...

The very moment dad walked out the door. My cries were so painful then, my tiny body couldn't hold them in and I collapsed to the floor feeling like I wasn't one piece anymore.

I cried with such intensity that brother turned around. His face shocked me. He looked like a grown-up. It was my brother's face, but with a grown-up's expression.

He wrapped me in his arms one last time, and I felt his warmth though his face was cold-from disbelief probably.

I could tell though, that he felt the same way.

After that, I never saw his face again...

My brother was not only my brother, but my best friend.

From then on, I couldn't stand to look at a Christmas tree with no lights or decorations.

...

**ENDNOTE: **Next chapter will have less/none of the angsty flashbacks (hopefully) we might actually be getting some actual story progress done. It'll be about present-day. (or planned to...) This is... a filler chapter? (filler, oh no D:) only because I was... eager again . I'm sorry. Plus, I feel uncomfortable with the latest thing I wrote being a attempt at lemon and uhh I felt the need to cover it up eheheh ;; (since I feel like Writer's Block is back I had to use SOMETHING to)


	4. Chapter 4

**Haku's P.O.V.**

"Haku. You know, if you're interested in being a singer, than maybe you should post a song cover on Nicotube."

"Aah? B-but I..."

I was spending lunch break sitting with my friend, Miku. We were talking about secrets. Well, sort of. It was a bit of a secret that I wanted to be a singer.

"Oh come on, don't be scared, Haku. It won't feel like a big deal at all once you have it online. I do it all the time just for fun." Miku confidently admitted.

"And the point is, it doesn't have to be super-good at all. Everybody uploads covers these days, Haku."

I could tell Miku was being modest. She was an amazing singer and practically everyone knew. I had to wonder what went through her mind when she talked to um... "underlings".

"O-okay, I guess it sounds fun." I said. Secretly, I always wanted to cover a song, though before I had never dreamed I actually would.

"Okay, so what songs do you like singing?" Miku asked eagerly.

"I... um..." I thought hard nervously.

"I like to... sing anime songs in a cute voice when I'm alone? B-but I don't want to post that... it's too embarrassing!"

Miku gave a giggle. A friendly, non-teasing one.

"Haha, that could make you popular though!"

I began to blush.

"Ha ha, just kidding." Miku said after she was done laughing.

The school bell rang for the end of lunch break and Miku and I put away our lunchboxes.

"Talk to me after school, okay?" Miku whispered to me when we were going back to our classroom seats. I gave her the thumbs-up symbol.

All through the day, I thought about a song I would be good at singing, but my mind couldn't settle on a single one at all.

When school was out, I was looking foward to talking to Miku, to Akaito, and maybe Rin and Len too.

But my heart sank when I saw them all walking out of the school building together in a tight group, and in the center was Miku. None of them seemed to acknowledge me.

I followed them distantly, and I picked up gestures and faint sounds of them laughing as they shuffled through the autumn leaves. They were walking someplace without me.

I didn't have it in me to call out their names.

I understood.

I understood that they probably didn't care about me as much as they do each other.

It was only what seemed right. Nobody I cared about has ever stayed by my side for so long. Not even my brother or dad.

_"I can't believe I thought that my friends actually wanted to see me after school..."_ I thought as I took the detour home.

_"And, tomorrow's my birthday... guess I'll be alone for it again."_ sigh...

The detour was actually a pretty nice place to go when I needed cheering up. The little shops always selled such lively decorations and so many other things.

But when I got there, they were havin an early sale on Christmas trees.

Bare Christmas trees.

A sight that only reminded me of the Christmas where our tree was bare.

The empty house... my brother's face... the cold, empty tension... it all began to flood in my mind. Memories of that day.

Tears began to well up in my eyes. I put my sleeve over my face and ran through the busy shopping street, even past the friendly shopkeepers who knew me as a regular. I didn't want them to see me cry either.

I held back the tears until I got home. My mother was working late as usual and she didn't leave me any dinner. The house was empty. I sat on the edge of my bed and vented my feelings.

After crying, I began singing a part of a song. It was a sad song, and it simply came to my lips without me being aware.

_"When the season is spinning, spinning_

_Please embrace the scattering ties_

_Strongly, strongly_

_So that they won't be lost..."_

I cleared my voice and sang a little more, a little louder this time.

_"Unable to move from the weight_

_Of the embraced words,_

_I fell into a warm dream_

_When I woke, it was after I lost you"_

Tears welled up in my eyes again on the last few words. This song reminded me of my brother. But at the same time I smiled. Singing it somehow made me feel better.

_"I tie it-the appearance that I embraced_

_The color of orange softly scatters_

_It hurt so much, it's strongly engraved in my heart_

_*hirari hirari hirari..."_

*= "Flutter, flutter, flutter"

...

...

**ENDNOTE: **The song in this chapter is called "Hirari, Hirari, Hirari". Angst isn't really my thing, so... (sorry if the story is cheesy, but that would be because I'm a cheesy person to begin with. XD;;)


	5. Chapter 5

**Dell's P.O.V.**

_"Excuse me, that Haku Yowane girl... do you know her? I need to know, NOW!"_

I realized the intensity of my yell when people all around began to stare at me. But they were only just blurs. It didn't matter one bit.

The woman decorating the cake urged me to calm down. Her nametag said her name was Momo Momone.

"Why do you need to know?" she asked me calmly.

"Because..." I was wondering whether I should tell the truth.

The people who were glancing my way began to retreat back to their business.

"Because... she's... my sister. I haven't seen her in... years."

My voice wobbled as I talked. I sounded so weak! But... I really did miss her.

"Oh..." the baker said. It seemed she didn't exactly know how to respond.

"If that is true, then... I would like to help you. The people who ordered this cake are scheduled to pick it up tomorrow." she was calmly complying.

"Oh... okay. So, are you going to... ask them about... Ha... Haku?" saying my sister's name to somebody made me feel shy. I had no idea why.

"Mm-hm. Let me look at my order log..." the pink-haired baker opened the book behind the plastic counter.

"Oh... this cake was ordered by the Hatsune family, it seemed. But I don't think I was on the job when they visited, so I don't know who they are. Oh..." the lady gave a jolt, only making me feel more nervous.

"What!?" I exclaimed.

"Oh... it's... I'm not exactly sure if I'll be working the time this cake gets picked up, either."

My pupils dilated a bit.

"W-well, then go on, and TELL ALL THE DAMN BAKERS ABOUT IT. This is IMPORTANT!" I got carried away. I'm a yeller. Not even when I'm mad. Even when I'm a little excited. But I ended up making the Momo Momone lady feel uncomfortable.

"Aah!" she let out a timid squeak.

"This guy... is... harassing meee!"

What!? No way.

Oh, yes way. A bunch of big guys in black suits walked out of a back room and marched towards me. They looked serious and tough.

One guy even asked a "witness" who was eating an egg roll at a table.

"Oh, yeah. That guy was yelling. We need to get him out, he's harassing people and destroying the quality of the bakery."

"Got it." the security guard said.

Two of the big guys lifted me by two arms as I fought in frustration, kicking and squirming.

"NO, PUT ME DOWN, PUT ME THE FCK DOWN. IT'S IMPORTANT-"

They were literally carrying me out of the building as if I were some cat.

"No! No!" the larger of the two grabbed me by my collar once we were on sidewalk.

"Listen. Your behavior is inappropriate and outrageous. You will no longer be allowed in this bakery. Now go home, son."

The two burly guys walked away. Once they were away, I took a stone and threw it at the ground.

It was all the fault of my horrible temper once again.

As I walked back to my house, I decided to recollect my thoughts, like how there was something similar about one of the guards faces. Wait... if couldn't have been... Big Al?! ...nah. The kid's probably still in college. The guard probably only happened to look like him, that's all.

But the name of the family that ordered the cake... 'Hatsune', was it? Hatsune... Hatsune. I hadn't heard it in my life. Probably the last name of one of Haku's friends. I sighed. I felt happy for her. Because that would mean my sister had a friend who would order a birthday cake for her. At least she was doing well. Haku...

And before you judge me for this, I have this song I listen to when I feel broken down. You would never expect what it is. It's called "Hirari, Hirari, Hirari". I'm normally not the kind of guy to listen to um... "girly" music, but it was soothing. Not to mention, the lyrics... they were flowery. But at the same time, it worked with everything. It reminded me of my little sister.

At home when it was almost getting dark, alone in my room, I took out my Dell laptop and went on Nicotube.

"Hirari, Hirari, Hirari", I typed in the search bar.

I clicked on the song and... crap. The video I always listened to got removed! I figured I needed I just look for another one.

But when I clicked on another one, I saw it was a cover version. No video, but just the song and their singing. I was about to click away from it, until I heard the person start to sing.

My eyes instantly widened upon hearing that voice... _that voice_. It sounded so... humble and... _heartbreaking_. I was swept away. I couldn't stop listening.

There were moments where she went off-key, moments where she went too soft, but it didn't take away from it at all.

Every lyric sung was with such emotion, it just shook the pain of today right out of me. I couldn't help but tear up at it. It was almost as if the words in the song... _were directed to me._

(...Yes. Me. Crying. I was freakin crying. And when I cry, that means something.)

After the song ended, and with the shivers still crawling down my spine, I read the video's description. The cover was fairly new, and from someone named LavenderShiro.

"This is my first ever song cover." it read.

I admit I was surprised. This girl could sing. I couldn't possibly ever listen to the original version again after hearing this cover.

But I scrolled down more... and read the rest of the description... and I couldn't believe my eyes.

_"I decided to sing this song because it reminds me of my long-lost brother."_

...

...

**ENDNOTE**: Ah, I can't believe how much I wrote in one day! Wonder how this will end...


End file.
